Feedback is an extremely useful tool for boosting performance and creating engagement. People interested in feedback and willing to respond accordingly typically move faster through their professional development than those who do not. The way employees relate to feedback often determines their success or failure within their job.

We talk a lot about how to give feedback effectively, though rarely do we hear talks on how to accept feedback, when really, how effective the exchange is overall very much lies with the receiver of the feedback, commonly emotionally overwhelmed, rather than the deliverer.

Being such a delicate subject, where emotions play a big role, feedback communications practices may need a fine-tuning. Organizations may also need to increase the frequency of asking and providing feedback, as a frequent communication reduces fear and uncertainty and ensures that people have heard the message. Furthermore, the organizations should provide safe channels for circulating feedback. Having a variety of options is important because individual employees may view the safety of a given channel differently based on such factors as their relationship with their managers. Having choices about how to give feedback thus helps ensure that people will do so, which, in turn, increases their satisfaction with their company’s actions.

Many of us are scared of feedback and sort of instantly recoil at the thought of it.  Understandable, as no one likes to be surprised to find out that what they thought they were doing is not how something comes across. But receiving feedback can be much easier if we mentally prepare for it and follow these steps:

1. Ask for it. It lets people know that you are interested in improving, which can build a closer professional relationship.
2. Get it often.Make it a habit to check in with people frequently. This allows you to get feedback in small doses, and frequently more specific feedback if you ask about a particular project rather than your overall performance over the past quarter.
3. Ask the hard people. The people that are easiest to ask are usually the ones we get along with, so they’re the ones most likely to give positive feedback with little room for growth. It’s great to know what your strengths are, but it’s also important to ask the people you don’t get along with, the hard ones.  Their feedback is even more valuable for you because it helps you growing.
4. Listen fully and listen carefully to what people have to say. If you get too defensive or argue with their feedback, they won’t offer you honest feedback in the future.
5. Ask questions.  Make sure you fully understand what they mean.  Be curious about what would have had something go better or what alternative they’d like to see.  You may not take them up on their suggestions, but it will help you understand the direction of their comments.
6. It’s not about you.  It’s about your behavior, your attitude or your words.  Whatever people say does not alter your person.
7. Take what you like and leave the rest.  You can’t address or work on anything if it’s not something you are willing to empower.
8. Take action.  Create a plan to address the feedback you want to take on, and make sure you do it.
9. Circle back.  Work on the items mentioned and then circle back with feedback givers to see how it’s going from their perspective.

Even when it’s delicately phrased, receiving feedback triggers a stress response from the incoming judgment, which is often coming from someone in a position of authority. Our natural tendency is to fight or flight when it senses we’re being threatened. The increased amount of hormones being released into our bloodstream are the cause of our heightened emotion.

Fear of criticism is the most common emotion, but, fortunatelly, a manageable reaction. Though it’s natural to feel this way, it’s also possible to overcome. Learning to overcome these emotions will enable employee to welcome feedback as an opportunity for growth. Once one stops seeing feedback as negative, she/he can prevent the brain from eliciting these kinds of reactions. It’ll never be easy, but the whole feedback process will be less painful as long as we have a plan for processing it. Here’s some helpful tips:

1. Be open minded about receiving feedback – focus on how your work can be improved with some extra perspective.
2. Recognize good intentions – the person is only trying to help.
3. Don’t respond right away, take a few seconds to really process the feedback. You can assess rationally and logically, without undue emotion.
4. Understand the feedback. If you don’t, ask questions! Discuss deeper with the feedback giver, ask to clarify suggestions.

Although it is normal to feel emotion while receiving feedback, it is recommended to handle these reactions elsewhere.  If you become emotional in front of the feedback giver, you may say “wow, that’s surprising” or “wow, that hurts”, as long as you also show appreciation. Your emotional reaction is yours to handle separately, screaming in a pillow or lifting weights.  It’s really important to get that emotional response out, in order to address any of the items of feedback with perspective and power.

In the end, be thankful! Feedback givers spend time considering how your work could potentially be improved. Sure, they may see things differently, have a different perspective, and often, that’s just what your work needs to improve – constant feedback. Be humble and gracious! Let people know you appreciate that they gave their time and energy to help make you more successful.

To encourage constant feedback and ensure safe channels for feedback, Co-Factor developed an innovative digital platform, which, through its functionalities, encourages circulating feedback, available in the Internal Communication Module, but, especially, in the Performance Management Module, where constant feedback sessions can be activated within individual performance plans.

With the software developed by Co-Factor, the degree of employee engagement and performance can be increased and measured, all types of feedback can be encouraged and monitored, a specific strategy can be created to support employees to perform, organizational culture can be promoted and employee results can be measured, thus obtaining a clear picture of employee spirit, engagement and performance.